Remembering
by sanguine2
Summary: While on a trip to DC with Steve Danny gets a first hand look at the sacrifice that service to county involves. Warning:slash. Relationship is referred to; nothing explicit.


They're headed to DC because Wo Fat's trail has gone cold and Steve can't stand it. It's his mother the bastard is after which means he _will_ find him. After phone calls from a highly placed admiral he served under years ago, all of the key intelligence gathering agencies have agreed to meetings.

They fly in Sunday night and schedule their meetings for the first part of the week so they can see a little of the city before they head home. Danny immediately has strong opinions about the value of each meeting. For his money the quirky but smart as shit NSA analysts at Ft. Meade have much more worthwhile intel than their buddies at the CIA who seem just a little too impressed with themselves. Of course, Steve being interested in any and all information he can get tells him both meetings were helpful and doesn't complain one bit about driving to Maryland one day and Virginia the next to get it. The third day they spend in town at FBI headquarters and thankfully the agents they meet with have recent, high quality intel on WoFat's activities. No surprise Steve grills them like they're suspects in a first degree murder. The meeting goes late and they wind up ordering room service when they finally get back to the hotel.

At least they've wrapped up the work they came to do.

Now to see the city.

Steve's a kid in a candy shop the instant they walk into the Air and Space Museum. Danny likes the place-sure, what's not to like. But what he l_oves_ is watching Steve's little boy-like enchantment as he darts from one exhibit to the next. Eyes wide and tongue poking out between his lips, he reads the description under the controls in a simulated cockpit. You'd think he was really about to take off the way his knuckles whiten around the controls.

"You know you're an absolute dork, don't you?" Danny asks.

Don't get him wrong-he loves seeing Steve like this.

Steve gives him a confused/hurt puppy dog expression. "Dork? How can you say that, Danny? This is an exact replica of the controls in _that_ plane." He looks up at one of the planes suspended from the museum's ceiling. "The Spirit of St Louis- the first plane to make a transatlantic crossing."

"Like I said, D-O-R-K."

"Whatever. Hey look." Steve's craning his neck; something further down the museum's huge center hallway has caught his eye. "Is that really Apollo-13?"

And he's off again, those long lanky legs of his getting him to wherever he's going long before Danny, but Danny doesn't mind. Hell, following closely behind this particular Navy SEAL has all kinds of entertainment valu_e. Just look at that backside of his in those cargo pants_.

After a day of museums that Steve picked out it's Danny's turn to plan the agenda. In his opinion the best daytime fun of the trip is watching his beloved Yankees make mincemeat of DC's home team while he washes down smoked sausage and peppers with an icy cold beer. "So what do you think Steve. How do you like your first professional baseball game?"

"I like it, fine," he shrugs. "I mean it's a little slow but it's entertaining and I _am_ glad it gives you a chance to enjoy one of your favorite pastimes." He rolls his eyes at the empty sausage wrapper in Danny's hand. "But I 'm not so sure-I still think a hike up to to Ko'olau Ridge wins out over this."

"You my friend sound like some kind of communist plunked down into our midst to undermine our national interests."

Steve nearly spits out the sip of beer he just took, "National interests? Baseball is a national interest?"

"You bet your ass it is."

And that 's all it takes.

_Ass._

After Danny says it Steve gives him a sly smile and suddenly it's not all that important how much the Yankees win by and they're grabbing a cab back to their hotel and giving each other looks and squeezes that barely pass for PG-13 . It might just be one for the record books- they make it from the stadium all the way across town to their hotel within twenty minutes and within twenty-three, the Do Not Disturb sign is on the door and most of their clothing is off.

_It really is a trip made of all win_.

The next morning they're up and packed by 7:30. It's way too early for Danny's likes but he gets it that it's their last day in DC and they can sleep and do what he really likes to do in the morning once they get home. "So what's on the agenda today?"

Steve looks up from his laptop. "I thought we'd head over to National Cemetery-it opens at 8 so you even have time for breakfast if you want."

The breakfast part Danny's pretty excited about–the spread in the lobby each morning is awesome. The cemetery part he's kind of lukewarm on. "National Cemetery… are you serious?"

The hard to read expression on Steve's face takes some of the air out his resistance but just to be sure Danny asks, "That's how you want to spend our last day?"

"Yeah. I'd really like to see the place."

There's something he's not saying.

Danny's learned to read him pretty well by now. "Okay, sure. So we'll go check out the place. I'm good with that." Hoisting his bag on his shoulder, "I'm also good with a little stop off in the lobby first for some sustenance."

Steve rolls his eyes looking not at all surprised. For some reason Danny doesn't get he gives him a quick kiss before they head out.

When they get to the cemetery they opt for the self guided tour, grabbing a brochure and map and feeling all kinds of relief to get away from the gaggle of tourists at the Visitor's Center. After they plan what to see, as they're hurrying down the path that leads into the cemetery proper, Steve pulls out his phone and starts scanning another map.

Okay now Danny is pissed.

Number one-he hates that walking and texting/searching/emailing etc. is a skill that continues to elude him. Number two-he's not about to let Steve change the plan. They already decided what they wanted to see for Pete's sake. "Why are you looking at a map? I got this all figured out." He turns the map in his hand sideways. "If we head that way, JFK's grave should be just on the other side of that hill. RFK's is there too-I'd kind of like to see them both. "

"Sure. Fine."

The way Steve absently agrees and quickly shuts his phone off is a little odd but Danny's glad to have won the skirmish so he lets it slide. They find JFK's grave site and silently read the inscription. "I mean talk about a speech," Danny says. "Ask not what your country can do for you-"

"I know," Steve agrees, "I know."

When they get to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, the charging of the guard ceremony is taking place. Danny feels Steve stiffen and touches the small of his back for just a second

Just to let him know he gets it.

He does get it. This stuff pushes buttons in Steve that run deep and have meaning beyond anything he'll ever really understand. He glances sideways at his partner's chiseled features and ramrod posture and pride pulses through him like a surge of electricity.

They're both quiet as they walk down the shaded path toward the Space Shuttle Challenger monument . When they get there they take a few minutes to read the inscription. "You see this," Danny calls softly from the other side of the monument. Steve joins him and they both read John Magee's poem and just like so many others shake their head at it's beauty.

Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue  
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.  
Where never lark, or even eagle flew —  
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod  
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,  
- Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

"Put out my hand and touched the face of God," Danny murmurs. "That really says it all doesn't it ?"

"Yeah it does. They died doing what they wanted to do more than anything else in the world. They knew the risks going in."

"And they'd do it again I bet."

Steve nods, "I bet they would."

Once they leave the Challenger monument Danny thinks they're walking toward the gate where they can grab a cab but Steve pulls out his phone and squints at another map, "Hey D- there's one more thing I want to see. Let's head over here."

As much as he wants to, you don't say no to Steve when his face looks the way it does. You really don't' say no when his voice suddenly goes so soft and distant.

They walk for a few minutes without talking. The place is beautiful in an eerie, sad way. Rows and rows of white marble grave markers line the green lawns on either side of them. Each one is a story of sacrifice and they stretch out as far as the eye can see. It takes a lot to completely silence Danny but on this beautiful spring morning, in this place, it happens.

Steve is quiet too.

But, for a different reason.

He's known about the sacrifice that this cemetery pays homage to for a long time in an intimate way. In fact, he has to grit his teeth against the emotion that's welling up in his chest. "Over here," he says, finally breaking the silence. "Here it is."

Danny has no idea what _it_ is but he follows him without a word.

They're on a sloping hillside of white marble headstones and Steve seems to know exactly what he's looking for. He stops in front of one of them and immediately drops down on one knee. Danny stays back a few feet sensing that for some reason, he should. From where he standing he can still read the inscription on the headstone-

** Lieutenant Michael Stuart Richardson**

October 21, 1977- June 17, 2006

Father-Husband- Son  
He Served His Nation  
Courageously  
And Will Be Missed By Many  
But, Most of All, by his Beloved Wife,Sarah  
And Brave Son, Mike, Jr.

For more than a few minutes they both just stand there.

"So you knew him?" Danny asks softly when he steps up beside Steve.

"Yeah..., I knew him" He says it gruffly but his lower lip is trembling

Danny slips his arm around him. Out of the corner of his eye he catches the way Steve winces before he forces his face to go blank. "I'm listening," he says, "tell me about him."

"He was… on my team. I knew him... really well."

Steve's silence tells Danny to wait which he does. After a minute he asks, "What happened?"

"It was in... Afghanistan."

"Okay. Go on."

"Our targets were holed up in a village near Bandi Amir–it was... freezing and we'd been zeroing in on them for weeks. We finally were pretty sure we had them but we needed absolute confirmation before we made our move. I sent him in-I sent Mike."

"Something happened?"

Steve barely nods; his face says it all. "He didn't stand a chance. The place was rigged with enough explosive to take out a platoon."

"God I'm sorry." Even as he says it Danny knows it's not enough-nothing is enough to dial back the pain on Steve's face.

"He was so excited about his... son. His first child. As soon as the op was over he was going to get to see him."

"It wasn't your fault – you know that don't you?"

"I could have gone in but I ...sent him."

"Because your team needed its leader." Danny grabs Steve by the elbow and turns him so they're facing each other. "It wasn't your fault."

Steve nods like he gets it but, then his shoulders sink and he turns back to stare at the grave. "Maybe it wasn't Danny but I'm here and he's not and there's a little boy growing up somewhere who will never know his dad."

Danny sees it in his brimming eyes.

_That's the part that's really killing him, isn't it?_

_The boy who'll never know his father._

Out of no where the idea comes to him. The words are out of his mouth before he's knows he's going to say them. "Why don't you help him know his dad?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well _you_ knew his dad-you knew him like only a handful of people did. Why don't you write him a letter or go by and visit him. Tell him what his dad was like-what his nickname was-what his favorite stupid jokes were. Tell him how much he bragged about his baby boy- how many times he passed his photo around."

"You think he'd want to hear that stuff?"

"How much did number fifty like hearing that his Dad went to every one of his home games?"

Steve nods and looks out over the field of graves, "I met Mike's wife a few times- maybe I'll call her and see what she thinks."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Danny says and stands there willing to give him as much time as he needs but Steve surprises him.

"I'm…. I'm okay. Let's go."

"You sure?"

He looks at the grave marker and then up at the sky and then says, "Yeah, I'm sure. Come on. I've got a call to make."

"Then what are we waiting for. Come on, let's get going."

As they walk toward the line of cabs they're quiet-both of them lost in their own thoughts.

Danny's always known about sacrifice and loss-he's a cop and his dad was a firefighter. But this here. This is more than he's ever had to wrap his mind around. These acres and acres of markers-the thousands of young men and women whose lives were cut short-the countless number of husbands and wives and children left to try and make their way without them. It blows his mind. He looks over at Steve and shakes his head.

It's not just the families left behind who ache.

"You know what you did over there. What you did time and again for your country... I, I don't even have words..."

Steve stops and turns. His eyes are glistening and he's biting his lower lip but there's a look of gratitude spreading across his face.

"Thanks Danno," he says.

"No problem, babe."


End file.
